29 June 2005

To the Lady Three Rows Behind Me on the Airplane:

Nobody cares that your daughter is getting married. Or that her fiancé is from England. Or that his mother is English and his father is Canadian. Or that the wedding is in Barbados and both families will be there for the barefoot ceremony on the beach. Or that he promised to buy your daughter horses and goats. Or that, as a child, you once slept in a barn so you could watch your neighbor’s horse foal. And so on ad infinitum.

In short, nobody cares to hear every detail about your life. Not the poor lady next to you, who also had to see the accompanying photographs, and least of all me, a full three rows in front of you. Use your “inside voice” on the plane, please.

Earnestly yours,

DAG